Get Out Of My Head
It’s been almost four months since we’ve separated. Yet, I still think about him almost all of the time. The pain may not be as painful like the earlier months but it’s still painful. I am trying to be friends with him, really, not to get revenge or anything but I think it’s so pathetic of me na. Na yung I’d rather be friends with him than lose him forever. Ang loser lang, diba? But I can’t help it. Hindi ko alam, mahal ko pa kaya sya? Mahal ko pa rin ba sya and hindi ko ba talaga kaya syang i let go kaya ganito pa rin ako?
Ayoko na eh. Sobra na. Pero bakit ba ayaw pa rin tumigil ng saarili ko? Bakit ba ang tigas tigas ng ulo ko? Ano pa ba ang dapat ipakita sakin at iparamdam sakin para tumigil na ko?
Ayaw na ng utak ko pero yung puso ko diretso pa rin ayaw papigil. Nahihirapan na ko. Gusto ko na sya kalimutan, gusto ko na magmove on pero bakit ba hindi kase ako matahimik? Anong closure pa ba kailangan ko?
Haaaay. Namimiss ko na sya :(
The Popoy Feeling
Naranasan mo na bang maiwan ka ng mahal mo? Yung wala kang kamalay-malay may problema na pala kayo? Ang sakit nun. Tapos bigla ka na lang nya iiwan sa ere.
Unpretty feeling. Literally.
I just miss being dolled-up. Putting on make up, dressing up, fixing your hair, and taking lots and lots of pictures. I miss this. Eversince I started workung, I have never had time to make myself pretty. Yes, I do feel ugly. Especially now, when I’m feeling down, stressed, depressed, I just want to fix myself from the outdide - hoping it will do something inside.
My boyfriend doesn’t like it when I wear make upor when I dress up. I know it’s sweet cause he always tells me that I don’t need to do anything cause he loves me just the way I am. I know, I’m lucky to have him tell me that. But, I miss this. This is me. I wanna be pretty. I wanna bring back my old self. But I don’t know where and how to start. I hate what I see in the mirror. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
Unpretty feeling. Literally.
I just miss being dolled-up. Putting on make up, dressing up, fixing your hair, and taking lots and lots of pictures. I miss this. Eversince I started workung, I have never had time to make myself pretty. Yes, I do feel ugly. Especially now, when I’m feeling down, stressed, depressed, I just want to fix myself from the outdide - hoping it will do something inside.
My boyfriend doesn’t like it when I wear make upor when I dress up. I know it’s sweet cause he always tells me that I don’t need to do anything cause he loves me just the way I am. I know, I’m lucky to have him tell me that. But, I miss this. This is me. I wanna be pretty. I wanna bring back my old self. But I don’t know where and how to start. I hate what I see in the mirror. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
There is no one braver than a man who asks a woman for her hand in marriage. For me, this is real love, true love. That man who wants to spend his whole life waking up next to you; that man whose voice you wake up to saying “I love you, baby. You are mine;” that man who will always be there for you; that man whose mere presence calms you down when you’re having a bad day; that man who will never leave your side; that man who is already planning his whole future with you; that man who wants his future to be you. This is love, he is love. From the moment he asked you to marry him, you know that you will never be alone. You will always have him, and he will always have you. And I’m lucky to have found that man. I am really lucky to have him, luckier that I fell in love with him, luckiest that he fell deeply in love with me too.
“This is my entry to “Love as I see it.” A project of www.islandrose.net flowers Philippines.
Rants
I just feel so ugly right now. I’m getting fat. AGAIN. My hair’s a mess. I can’t find the right clothes to wear. My skin’s sunburned. Errrr. I just don’t feel pretty right now. And it’s destroying my mood, my day, my everything. *sigh*
Feels like I’m in a fairytale
That moment when he takes you home and then you meet his whole family again. Then this time his sister met me with a smile and a simple “Hi!” and when his mom came home, she sees me and smiles at me too.
Then comes dinner and his mom makes jokes and talks to you already. Then morning came and his mom asks you to stay for breakfast and asks you to stay and sleep in their home already so you can rest.
And then he wakes you up with a kiss and you know that everything is perfect.
I’m right in the place I wanna be. His home, his family, and me.
Greatest Story Ever Told
The best two days of my life. Thank you baby. I love you so much. <3
